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feelings suck

Does this make anyone else want to cry their eyes out? 
The Fault In Our Stars by John Green (Page 280)
  • Hazel:Touch the cave wall.
  • Computer:You touch the cave wall. It is moist.
  • Isaac:Lick the cave wall.
  • Computer:I do not understand. Repeat?
  • Hazel:Hump the moist cave wall.
  • Computer:You attempt to jump. You hit your head.
  • Isaac:Not jump. HUMP.
  • Computer:I don't understand.
  • Isaac:Dude, I've been alone in the dark in this cave for weeks and I need some relief. HUMP THE CAVE WALL.
  • Computer:You attempt to ju-
  • Hazel:Thrust pelvis against the cave wall.
  • Computer:I do not-
  • Isaac:Make sweet love to the cave.
  • Computer:I do not-
  • Hazel:FINE. Follow left branch.
  • Computer:You follow the left branch. The passage narrows.
  • Hazel:Crawl.
  • Computer:You crawl for one hundred yards. The passage narrows.
  • Hazel:Snake crawl.
  • Computer:You snake crawl for thirty yards. A trickle of water runs down your body. You reach a small mound of rocks blocking your passageway.
  • Hazel:Can I hump the cave now?
  • Computer:You cannot jump without standing.
  • Isaac:I dislike living in a world without Augustus Waters.
  • COmputer:I don't understand-
  • Isaac:Me neither. Pause.

"The Pout Selfie"

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